We’ve all done it. Evaded an issue with someone. I was a master at it with my mother. It started when I was 10 and she made me wear slacks under my skirt to school on cold mornings as well as a very warm hat. About halfway to school was the post office where I darted in and took off the slacks and hat. She would never know. I could avoid looking like a dork. Later as an adult I was quite adept at keeping information away from her that would only be used against me in her judgmental ways. I was protecting myself and those I love from her. I didn’t lie to her. I just got very good at switching the subject. She probably had me figured out. Maybe my personal details were safe only in my mind.
The internet has opened up a whole world of deception. The art of the side-step is alive and well there. On Facebook I read the wonderful, exciting, daily details of those I know. Notice I said I know these people. Their lives are not like that. They have struggles and issues just like the rest of us. They are blocking the knowledge of those things from everyone in their online “personnas”. So this leads me to worry about all the young people who are sucked into depression because their lives don’t measure up to those they friend online. It is this trust that makes “catfishing” so easy to accomplish, let alone pedophiles entrapping their victims. I have yet to see anybody online who doesn’t filter the content they put out there. Me included.
I’m a firm believer in honesty. I can’t remember the last time I told a lie. I’m straight with the husband, the kids and grandkids, and those I deal with out and about in the world. Deception is something I just don’t practice. It absolutely wounds me to my soul when I find somebody has been doing things behind my back. I don’t do that to them. Why do they want to do that to me? Probably because whatever it is isn’t going to put them in a good light.
I know someone who found notices on her husband’s phone from an online dating site he was using informing him of people interested in him. OMG! She has chosen to ignore it. Not if it was me. There would be a very vigorous conversation around the fact until the whys and never agains came up. Proceed from there. She is afraid. I would just feel stunned and played as a dupe. And embarrassed as hell. All trust gone.
So when you see on Facebook that I like a certain story or share something I’m interested in, it is just what I choose to put out there. I don’t talk about my health or happiness. Those I really care about know that in person. Everyone else gets the evasion I’m putting out. Sorry if it isn’t exactly honest. It is the old side-step I learned as a child.