My favorite show on television is NCIS. Before we got our DVR I never got to see it first run. USA Network runs old episodes all the time, sometimes all day long. I love seeing these episodes. This week I was watching one where the main character (Mark Harmon – crush!) was asked by his father to meet a fellow flyer from WWII who had saved his life. It was the plot line that this pilot was a German on the other side of the war. He felt like his life was far from good because of all the death he caused, so the father wanted to take his son to meet the dying German. He told the man who saved his life that his son would not have been born if he hadn’t helped him. His son helped people everyday (in his NCIS job) and that his son was the best man he had ever known. The German absorbed this and realized he had made some sort of good impact on the world during his lifetime. Me? I burst into tears. Why? It hit me like a ton of bricks that I never got that from my mother. Right up to her dying breath she was trying to change me. All I ever wanted from her was acceptance and unconditional love. It never came. It caused a big chasm between us. It was just shocking to me to hear that father say it about his son. So I cried.
What did I do then? I called my daughter. We talked through our days and “to do” lists. I told her about this NCIS episode and how it had impacted me. I told her she was the best person I knew hands down. I didn’t want it to go unsaid. She got teary. It was a grand moment. I plan on telling my son that, too, when I talk to him next time. He is such a kind, thoughtful man and deserves to hear that from me.