The art of the side-step

We’ve all done it. Evaded an issue with someone. I was a master at it with my mother. It started when I was 10 and she made me wear slacks under my skirt to school on cold mornings as well as a very warm hat. About halfway to school was the post office where I darted in and took off the slacks and hat. She would never know. I could avoid looking like a dork. Later as an adult I was quite adept at keeping information away from her that would only be used against me in her judgmental ways. I was protecting myself and those I love from her. I didn’t lie to her. I just got very good at switching the subject. She probably had me figured out. Maybe my personal details were safe only in my mind.

The internet has opened up a whole world of deception. The art of the side-step is alive and well there. On Facebook I read the wonderful, exciting, daily details of those I know. Notice I said I know these people. Their lives are not like that. They have struggles and issues just like the rest of us. They are blocking the knowledge of those things from everyone in their online “personnas”. So this leads me to worry about all the young people who are sucked into depression because their lives don’t measure up to those they friend online. It is this trust that makes “catfishing” so easy to accomplish, let alone pedophiles entrapping their victims. I have yet to see anybody online who doesn’t filter the content they put out there. Me included.

I’m a firm believer in honesty. I can’t remember the last time I told a lie.  I’m straight with the husband, the kids and grandkids, and those I deal with out and about in the world. Deception is something I just don’t practice. It absolutely wounds me to my soul when I find somebody has been doing things behind my back. I don’t do that to them. Why do they want to do that to me? Probably because whatever it is isn’t going to put them in a good light.

I know someone who found notices on her husband’s phone from an online dating site he was using informing him of people interested in him. OMG! She has chosen to ignore it. Not if it was me. There would be a very vigorous conversation around the fact until the whys and never agains came up. Proceed from there. She is afraid. I would just feel stunned and played as a dupe. And embarrassed as hell. All trust gone.

So when you see on Facebook that I like a certain story or share something I’m interested in, it is just what I choose to put out there. I don’t talk about my health or happiness. Those I really care about know that in person. Everyone else gets the evasion I’m putting out. Sorry if it isn’t exactly honest. It is the old side-step I learned as a child.

 

Hold that grant?

A county near us is in a tug of war over $6064 in federal grant funds that will expire the end of this month. The County Health Department there planned on using the money to buy IUDs for patients needing help with their birth control expenses. They chose IUDs because they have a 99% effective rate, about 8 points above the birth control pill. (I should play the lottery more! My son came about from an IUD failure.) A county commissioner put a hold on the funds because he felt IUDs cause the murder of a fetus. (Link) Many prominent doctors have come forward to say this is not a truth. Give me a friggin’ break!

I would imagine this same commissioner gripes about the cost of the health department in the first place. He probably complains about the cost to the county for homeless families. He probably thinks people who can’t afford more children just shouldn’t be engaging in sex at all. I realize I am supposing a lot about this man. Not really. He is very common in the U.S. right now. What a blow hard!

Why in the world does he think he can assert his own religious beliefs onto the county he serves? The last time I checked the Constitution, religion should not be a factor in governmental decisions. Can’t he see the benefit to the below-poverty-level families that these funds could provide? Shameless!

Someday the non-voters in these barely able to get by families are going to wake up and start organizing to vote these posers out of office. Poser? The ones who claim they are for those who need help but will vote against them every time. I can’t wait to see it happen!

All that GOOP?

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Gwyneth Paltrow recently gave a talk to a technology meeting. I used to follow Gwyneth on her website GOOP. I didn’t follow her very long. It became evident very quickly that she and I don’t move or live in the same worlds. Who buys a purse for $5000? Her mother and father were better known to me, so I was interested in her career since it started. I’ve never been very impressed despite her Oscar win. And what’s this about conscious uncoupling? lol  So have I ever given her a disparaging word online? Absolutely not!

I have a rule. If I complain or criticize, then I must also praise and recommend. It doubles the workload to state my opinion. So I just don’t unless it is very extraordinary conditions.

So, as Gwyneth says in her presentation, why are the internet tweeters and instagrammers and all the other too convenient outlets always so full of bile and evil comments? She claims it is part of the evolution of man. We will be better for our learning to sluff off these comments and keep moving forward. I disagree with this. Yes, it is impacting our evolution; it is taking evolution in the opposite direction. We are turning into a society of critical, mean-spirited individuals. What happened to “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?” I was raised on that rule. It has served me well in life. Just stop and think before you say it. The invisibility of the internet takes accountability out of the picture. Go ahead and say it. Nobody will know who you are. It won’t matter.

Well it does matter. We are learning to take this new life skill into everyday things; to the workplace, social gatherings, and even traffic on the road. The French have a reputation for being rude. We have caught up to them and maybe surpassed them at this point in that sense. David Letterman said when he tried Twitter for a bit, “It is where you say things that you probably should have kept to yourself in the first place.” Amen, Mr. Letterman.

The Unwashed

ImageIn the news this week the CEO of Levi’s announced, “Do not wash your Levi’s!” Yes, you read it right. Don’t wash them. This scrambles my brain!

I watched an interview with Anderson Cooper from CNN a few years ago where he said he never washed his jeans. He confessed he had jeans decades old that had never been washed. (Giggle! For sure he doesn’t go commando!) In my mind I rationalized that what he was really saying was that he had them dry cleaned, clean-cut guy that he is.

I’ve never dry cleaned an item in my life. I shy away from buying clothes with those labels. If I do buy a blouse that would fade badly or never look the same once washed, I choose to wear it only when I know I can keep it clean. You know – not around the little grandkids or out for a BBQ dinner. I’ve been pretty successful at it. But when it comes to jeans. Huh? My jeans would soon be able to stand in the corner by themselves if never washed. I tend to wipe my hands on my jeans when I cook. They get pretty crusty in just a day. There is no way I could never wash them.

One advantage of not washing a pair of jeans would be the fit. Have you ever taken a fresh pair of jeans out of the dryer to put on? They fit like new but not like “mine”. They are tighter than they were when last worn. Sometimes I have to wear them unzipped for a bit to stretch them out before I can zip them. It makes me wonder how teens get by these days with their skin-tight pants. My granddaughter might just as well paint them on. Do hers fit better or worse after washing? There must be a lot of spandex in them!

My husband likes his jeans dark denim. When they start to fade he is ready to move on to a new pair. I’ve shown him in the stores how light jeans are OK to wear. You can buy them that way. With holes in them already even! He shakes his head. Could he go without washing his jeans? Not at all. He is a working man. His jeans get dirty kneeling on the floor or working in a muddy construction zone. And… they need washing so they no longer drag in the butt and fit his tush nicely again. And… he has a cup of coffee in his hand nearly all the time. He swears it is his cups that dribble. Nope. His jeans must be washed.

I think back to my first pair of jeans. Our school did not allow girls to wear pants of any kind. We had to wear skirts or dresses. In the winter when I had to walk to school in snow and cold, I wore a pair of slacks under my skirt that had to be taken off in the restroom before class started. My husband encouraged me to buy a pair of jeans when we started dating in 1968. He took me to the men’s store and we bought a pair. They were dark, stiff denim. We took them to the laundromat after we both got off work that evening to give them a good washing, breaking them in a bit. I was so excited to have them! It was the first pair of I don’t know how many hundreds I’ve had in the 45 years since.

The only advantage to not washing jeans would be their longevity. I would imagine a pair would last forever. So isn’t it counter-intuitive for Levi’s to encourage us not to wash them?

UPDATE: This link to HLN carries this discussion a little further. http://www.hlntv.com/article/2014/05/23/levis-ceo-dont-wash-jeans-how-to-clean-denim-audience-reaction?hpt=hln10_7

Senseless!

Today the Wichita news is all about a 1-yr-old boy who was shot by his 4-yr-old brother. The little guy died. They were playing in a bedroom where a loaded semi-automatic handgun was kept in a night stand drawer. The older child did not take the gun out of the drawer. He pulled the trigger and the shot went through the drawer into his little brother’s chest. Two adult men (one the boys’ father) were in the living room when this happened. Charges against the father are pending.

I feel for this father. The dispatcher said he was so upset when he called for help that he couldn’t remember his address. Well no shit! I’m sure he is rethinking his gun ownership view today. Maybe he isn’t. I’m sure the judge and jury he will face will condemn him for not keeping this gun in a lock box. In my opinion his right to keep this unlocked gun in his home is far outweighed by his son’s right to live and breathe. So senseless! And sadly nobody ever takes a lesson like this to heart. After all, it will never happen in their home. Their kids have been instructed to stay out of the drawer with the gun. This bumper sticker makes just as much sense.

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Take off your shirt!

This has been a conversation in our house. I do the laundry. It is a pet peeve of mine to turn shirts back from inside out in order to wash them. As the video demonstrates, there is a way to take off a shirt that leaves it right for me to wash it. It is just a simple adjustment on where you grab the shirt when you pull it off. I do mine correctly. I think about it as I take it off. The video shows a new way to take it off. This might work for a 10-yr-old but not necessarily for someone with shoulder and neck issues. The next time I have to stick my hand into a smelly, dirty shirt to prep for the laundry, I will think about this video instead of my irritation.

Trending on my twitter (if I used Twitter)

Image1. I heard David Letterman say about Twitter, “It’s where people say things they probably should have kept to themselves.” Brilliant! So Letterman is trending at my house. I’ve watched The Tonight Show since Steve Allen was the host. The memory of my older brother rolling on the floor, laughing like a fool over Steve’s antics is vivid in my mind. Carson was my favorite over the years. How many nights did I go to sleep listening to him on the bedside radio that played tv station audio? More than a few, at least until I put a tv in my bedroom. Leno was just “meh”. I’m anxious to see how Colbert can handle Letterman’s legacy show. Right now we watch/listen to whomever has the most interesting guests after we check listings. I’ll put Colbert into that rotation. It’s all about the guests, after all, in our house.

2. I’m so sick and tired of all the coverage of a “LOST” (mirrors the tv show) airplane and the trial of the amputee runner in Australia. Meanwhile there are sabers being rattled by Putin and the war-mongers in the United States. Cover that, will you?

3. The pictures of the royal couple and baby have been fun. I’m just wishing and hoping it is not all for show and a big, newsy divorce isn’t down the road.

4. I had my thyroid taken out one week ago today. Would you believe I’ve bounced back about 95% already? Swallowing those first 48 hours was an adventure, but things leveled out pretty fast. My ENT specialist also trained as a plastic surgeon. There is going to be a scar but very well disguised.

5. I’m farming. No, not my yard or the back 40. A free online farming game. I’ve been there before on facebook. It was worry about my animals and crops being abandoned that made me hesitant to quit facebook several years ago. There was a little withdrawal, but I didn’t miss all the angst, envy, and guilt that damn site always gave me. Who really posts what is real on there? I have a feeling nobody. So this new farm is independent and doesn’t even have a chat going all the time. It’s perfect! Gotta go. There is a baby goat due about right now. Goat cheese sells for a premium!