I can’t go anywhere in media without seeing the video of the professional football player decking his wife in an elevator then carrying her limp body out into the hallway. Now every morning show is having experts talk about why she is defending him. Life is so odd sometimes.
What I could never understand is how anger becomes violence. I get angry sometimes. I will slam some doors or throw something. My mind never goes to actually harming someone in the wake of my anger. I think I am in a majority here.
So what escalates anger to violence? A supremacy of the male ego? Ultimate control? Testosterone overage? A flashback to the playground? I do know that more often as not women stay with these abusers because in this society they have no other options. They need to stay in order to keep their children fed, clothed, and sheltered. Women of means stay in order to save face in the world. Some say they actually love their abuser and can’t imagine a life without him in it. This is all messed up, people!
The one way to stop it all would be to stop the violence. Be angry, yes. Be violent in that anger, no! Just walk away and deal with the issue in a calmer mind-frame. Be a grown up. imagine it is your daughter at the receiving end. Stop it!
My youngest grandchildren came to visit me for a week this summer. They are 5 and 7. I tried to keep them busy with crafts, trips to the park, and swimming. I even bought a Slip-n-Slide for them to use in the backyard. They brought with them their Nintendo DS and games. I allowed them to use my laptop for games on PBSKids.com. Still in this age of over-stimulation, they were bored sometimes. I resorted to TV. At home they don’t have cable. Netflix is where they go for their entertainment. I don’t have that. I tuned them into Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network with a little PBS thrown in.
OMG! They about run their little legs ragged coming up the stairs from the family room to tell me what toy they just saw on TV that they want for Christmas! Netflix doesn’t have commercials. This was their first exposure to the bombardment of toy advertisements on regular tv. It was fun to see the excitement in their eyes as they explained what the toy was and how fun it would be. Their voices became louder and louder with each new discovery, not to mention how confusing it got for me when they did this at the same time. lol
So I did what I could to calm it down. I bought the Lego movie and the current ice princess movie and plugged them into those instead of regular tv. How many times can a kid watch the same movie over and over? Endless it seems. Now I can’t get “Let It Go” out of my head.
Yesterday I chased a big cricket around my dining room. He finally hid himself well enough that I forgot about him. Last night as I was headed down the hallway toward my comfy bed, I heard him. I mean I HEARD him! He was in the bathroom. This room is mostly tile. The accent rugs from that room were in the washing machine so there was nothing to absorb the sound of him. He was singing in there like the Boyz to Men group used to practice in their school’s bathroom. His chirps were echoing around and amplified. How was I going to ignore that all night? I lifted the wastebasket, the scale, and the towel rack hoping to find him huddled under them. Nope. Not there. There was nothing but tiled walls and floor. Nowhere for him to hide from me. And, of course, he had stopped chirping by then. I left the room to turn down my bed. There he was again! So I went back in there and could not find him! Maybe he was sitting in the floor register? I opened it up and couldn’t see him. How did I handle this? I turned off the light, shut the door, and decided if I shut my bedroom door, too, I just might get a good night’s sleep.
This morning there isn’t one sign of him either visually or audibly. Maybe he did find his way to the basement through the floor vent. I’ll keep an eye out (and ear) and hope he doesn’t turn up just as I’m going to bed again tonight!
We’ve all done it. Evaded an issue with someone. I was a master at it with my mother. It started when I was 10 and she made me wear slacks under my skirt to school on cold mornings as well as a very warm hat. About halfway to school was the post office where I darted in and took off the slacks and hat. She would never know. I could avoid looking like a dork. Later as an adult I was quite adept at keeping information away from her that would only be used against me in her judgmental ways. I was protecting myself and those I love from her. I didn’t lie to her. I just got very good at switching the subject. She probably had me figured out. Maybe my personal details were safe only in my mind.
The internet has opened up a whole world of deception. The art of the side-step is alive and well there. On Facebook I read the wonderful, exciting, daily details of those I know. Notice I said I know these people. Their lives are not like that. They have struggles and issues just like the rest of us. They are blocking the knowledge of those things from everyone in their online “personnas”. So this leads me to worry about all the young people who are sucked into depression because their lives don’t measure up to those they friend online. It is this trust that makes “catfishing” so easy to accomplish, let alone pedophiles entrapping their victims. I have yet to see anybody online who doesn’t filter the content they put out there. Me included.
I’m a firm believer in honesty. I can’t remember the last time I told a lie. I’m straight with the husband, the kids and grandkids, and those I deal with out and about in the world. Deception is something I just don’t practice. It absolutely wounds me to my soul when I find somebody has been doing things behind my back. I don’t do that to them. Why do they want to do that to me? Probably because whatever it is isn’t going to put them in a good light.
I know someone who found notices on her husband’s phone from an online dating site he was using informing him of people interested in him. OMG! She has chosen to ignore it. Not if it was me. There would be a very vigorous conversation around the fact until the whys and never agains came up. Proceed from there. She is afraid. I would just feel stunned and played as a dupe. And embarrassed as hell. All trust gone.
So when you see on Facebook that I like a certain story or share something I’m interested in, it is just what I choose to put out there. I don’t talk about my health or happiness. Those I really care about know that in person. Everyone else gets the evasion I’m putting out. Sorry if it isn’t exactly honest. It is the old side-step I learned as a child.
A county near us is in a tug of war over $6064 in federal grant funds that will expire the end of this month. The County Health Department there planned on using the money to buy IUDs for patients needing help with their birth control expenses. They chose IUDs because they have a 99% effective rate, about 8 points above the birth control pill. (I should play the lottery more! My son came about from an IUD failure.) A county commissioner put a hold on the funds because he felt IUDs cause the murder of a fetus. (Link) Many prominent doctors have come forward to say this is not a truth. Give me a friggin’ break!
I would imagine this same commissioner gripes about the cost of the health department in the first place. He probably complains about the cost to the county for homeless families. He probably thinks people who can’t afford more children just shouldn’t be engaging in sex at all. I realize I am supposing a lot about this man. Not really. He is very common in the U.S. right now. What a blow hard!
Why in the world does he think he can assert his own religious beliefs onto the county he serves? The last time I checked the Constitution, religion should not be a factor in governmental decisions. Can’t he see the benefit to the below-poverty-level families that these funds could provide? Shameless!
Someday the non-voters in these barely able to get by families are going to wake up and start organizing to vote these posers out of office. Poser? The ones who claim they are for those who need help but will vote against them every time. I can’t wait to see it happen!